I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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