i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize