my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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