so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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