My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
