quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
