It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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