He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
