Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
