they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
