no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Girls should come with a carfax report
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
