I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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