dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
