Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize