So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.