Me. At least after what I've been through.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler