I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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