This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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