I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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