Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
