why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
