Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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