Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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