You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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