Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
