what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
