So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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