She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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