I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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