i was born a porn star she said
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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