Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
