I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
