there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
