I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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