also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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