he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
