You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
