Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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