i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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