Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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