none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
