"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
These tits shall not be calmed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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