Don't make out with my wife yet
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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