Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
