I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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