when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
