He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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