Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
