it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
