I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
