just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
