the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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