there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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