I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
