i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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