Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize