gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
