It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
