I hate your face
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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