wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
