me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
